Spontaneity, surprises, traveling, adventure, exploration, new experiences: the kinds of things that great stories are made of. And I want my life to be a good story in the making. I want to be living out a story that is worth telling, worth listening to, worth joining in on. I want all those elements of risk & adventure to be woven into my conversations, my relationships, my job & my daily life.
But-- BUT-- the parts of the story that are rarely ever talked about, the routine aspects of life that never show up in the movie, are the mundane, daily activities that (I believe) hold the whole thing together. They are the elements that I am craving right now.
I know that I could never survive a desk job-- I've tried it before, and felt like a plant withering under the fluorescent lights. Having a career that required me to be in at 9 and out by 5, doing the same thing every day would probably be a stretch for my personality. I love that I can be a Jack of all Trades-- that in the last month, my job had me making chili for 40 people, writing articles, stuffing envelopes, leading meetings, planning Spring Break trips, speaking, crying, praying, laughing, sympathizing, traveling & working in my PJ's.
The trade off to all of that variety, all that spontaneity & adventure, is that it's almost impossible to establish any sense of rhythm. It doesn't help that I am, by nature, a pretty unorganized, hap-hazard type of person. Keeping my ducks in a row is not my strong suit. Neither are paying bills, remembering details, making schedules, being on time, or planning ahead-- but I'm learning. And despite the fact that I'm not good at it, I still crave it.
I want a pattern and flow to my life that makes sense, that keeps me balanced and helps me to live out my Story better. In a way, they sound almost mutually exclusive-- how can planning & organization help me to be more spontaneous & adventurous? I think, though, that balance & rhythm are what keep me centered-- what helps me to fully live out of who I am, without the clutter of chaos that occurs without it.
And it's the little things that help: taking the dog for a walk around the same time everyday, having routines in our weeknights, making healthy food in bulk (rather than binging on the left over 5lb bag of mediocre chips from our student SuperBowl party), and keeping our apartment from looking like a conflict zone.
After traveling 4 of the last 10 weeks, the desire for a routine is heightened. I started today by washing all the dishes & baking some healthy breakfast bars (another failed baking experiment, but at least I tried!). Next up: laundry, house cleaning and a nice, long bike ride with Chris before the rain returns. Not exactly blockbuster-worthy, but very needed.