Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Our Dog Rides the Short Bus

[Pause for a moment, and reflect on the funniest picture ever taken. Yes, this is our dog...]

So, let's just say that our puppy is not the sharpest knife in the drawer. He's a great dog-- everything we wanted in a dog-- but despite all his boyish charm, he's all brawn and no brains.

I'll give a few examples of his quirks:

  • We heard that you can tell a dog's intelligence by putting a towel or blanket over his head & seeing how long it takes him to get out of it. Gavin drags his favorite blanket into a room, and spends hours pulling it over his own head. I'm not sure what that means, but it can't be good.
  • He once ate a rock the size of a hockey puck, and then threw it up that night during dinner. It made a thud on the floor.
  • He tried to jump through the window of a lovely bakery in Carmel when I pointed at the yummy treats inside. He made the whole store shake, and his nose print stayed on the glass for at least 2 days.
  • He hasn't figured out yet that he can "ask" to go outside for a "potty break". Instead, when he really, really has to go, he lays on the floor & shivers, trying to hold it in (I appreciate the effort, though)
  • He frequently runs into poles during walks/runs.
  • He ate Chris' Bible once. He made it about half way through the Old Testament. Last week, he ate our prayer requests. Bad dog.
  • He peed on Chris as few days ago. A little thing called submissive urination
  • He burps & farts like an old man (I'm not exaggerating-- and it's usually when we have company), and gets the hiccups about once a day.
He stinks, he slobbers, he's clumsy, and crawls on your lap whenever you're at the computer. And yet, despite all that, he really is a great dog. He's sweet & happy; mellow indoors, but great on a hike. He'll chase a stick into water until he drowns. He is wonderful with other dogs, and is so entertaining to watch while he's playing.

I say all of this because I had a little "mother bear with her cub" moment today that surprised me. We were at the park, letting Gavin play, and a woman came with her beautiful Rottweiler. Then, her beautiful rottweiler proceeded to attack Gavin (he actually has teeth marks in his back!). Chris pulled them apart, and Gavin rolled to his back, in a submissive "help me!", and Chris bent down to pet him & tell him he was okay.

The woman lectured us on how we should never pet our dog after he gets in a fight-- full on lecturing us about the in's & out's of dog training (as if Gavin had done something wrong & it was our fault!), after her dog attacked ours. I was fuming! She just wouldn't stop! Finally, I said it was time to go, and we took our poor, defenseless Pit Bull home while smoke escaped from my ears.

The funny thing is that as I was fuming, I was also laughing at myself for getting so worked up about a stranger falsely accusing our dumb, goofy mutt. What will I be like when I'm actually a Mother? Scary thought =)


staff chris said...

That's exactly our dog, except you forgot to mention that he usually pees on himself when he does his 'girl pee'. Do his farts smell worse, or mine?

deee said...

submissive urination. that's great. I'm glad moshi hasn't had the urge to do that one... this post had me laughing out loud

Danika said...

Good words.