Friday, October 5, 2007

Being the School Bully

Everyone has memories of the school bully-- the kid who bossed all the other little kids around, or threw a tantrum when they didn't get things their way, or yelled, hit, kicked or bit until you cried.

For me, the school bully was this girl named Dana. She was big & mean, and her mom followed her from Elementary School through High School (and maybe college too-- I don't know!) working in the school's administration office and giving her everything she wanted. She was awful.

Most of us have also experienced the bossy, bitchy, mean & scary co-worker. We can all agree that they are no fun.

Well, today, that School Bully/Office Bitch was me. I don't know when I officially ran out of steam, but sometime this morning, when our staff team came over for our usual Friday Breakfast, I became that scary girl in the picture. I snapped at people; I was mean & critical; I was bubbling over with irritation. For some reason, every noise in the apartment seemed to bounce off the ceiling and echo in my brain. I was not pleasant.

Is it too much to ask to have the seven of us show up on time, organize breakfast in an orderly manner [in a kitchen that's about 10' x 1'], rearrange all our furniture, and sit down to eat [in our tiny apartment] in calm, peaceful silence?? Hmm, maybe it is =) For some reason, everything seemed especially chaotic, crowded, and insanely loud. But maybe that was just me =)

I wish that I was one of those laid back, calm, peaceful types. I wish that I was one of those people that you felt at ease around-- those types that exude a quiet confidence and breathe in Zen. I think that fiery Guatemalan blood prevents those moments from lasting long. I just wish I could hide it better when the scary school bully reared her ugly head...

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