I feel empty. I think all the events of the last week have started sinking in, and I am realizing that I feel like I don't have much to give. I would much rather hide behind my laptop & answer emails than actually meet with students, have conversations, and give of myself emotionally. Thankfully, I have had the freedom to do that today, and have taken full advantage of it. =)
I met with a friend today for lunch, and we shared about our lives & our relationships with God, and we prayed for each other. We are going to try to meet every week (or so), and I can't even begin to say what a God-send that is.
When I came home, I realized that (outside of ministry) that was the first time I have met with a friend like that since I moved to San Francisco. Saying that felt very profound.
I mean, we have hung out with friends (as couples) since we've moved here, and I have had deep conversations with friends from home and in ministry, but this was the first time that I have ever sat down with a friend from San Francisco and gone deep with each other. It felt very profound, and very right, and yet also so sad. As I shared with her, I felt how deeply I needed someone to just listen-- someone to minister to me. I hadn't realized how much I was aching for it.
I admit, I am feeling rather emotional tonight as I type away, and I'm not sure how much to attribute to low blood sugar, or hormones, or all of the impending changes & disappointments. It's probably a little of each. I do know that I plan to lay low this week, spend as much time connecting with Chris as possible, and taking time to process my feelings. I think I need a little time to take inventory, and take care of myself... Wish me luck =)